Sometimes I feel like I am screaming at a wall. People say they want us there. Want us included. Want our family to be included. But when we ask if they considered if their plans are wheelchair accessible, or what activities our child could participate in, we are faced with blank faces. When we ask about food options, access to refrigeration, and places to change a diaper, we see eyes glazed over. We are told she wasn’t considered. We are told that the world can’t revolve around us. We are told to leave her behind.

I am asked what our life with Lyra is like. I whisper. I talk. I project. I yell. I scream. Yet, there don’t seem to be ears connected to the mouths asking the questions. The mouths seem to be attached to walls of indifference who want us in their lives, but only if Lyra can climb her way to their standard of “normal”. They want to hear about our lives the way they want to listen to a true crime podcast. They don’t want to hold the hand of the widow of the murdered husband. They don’t actually want to understand Lyra or what her life is like.

I know I shouldn’t waste my time, energy, etc. on these people. I know that there are others with actions bigger than their ears, and ears bigger than the mouths they use to ask their questions. I know there are people who ask what needs to be considered so that we can be part of the adventure, before any plans are made. There are people who would never consider leaving Lyra behind. It’s just hard when there are so many people who think that’s an acceptable option.